just another post about coming home from college

Coming home from college is now routine for anyone finishing their sophomore year or higher (sorry, freshmen). Us veterans have already handled that initial adjustment, thinking that we were done with the foreshock. I mean, I thought that. But no, when I arrived home from my second year of college it seemed to hurt worse than when I left school for my first college summer break.

My first year of college was a whirlwind. Yes, I had made super close friends whom it pained me to move away from, but I was also going into summer high off the last few weeks of that spring semester and honestly, I was just happy to be finished with classes, finals, and practices. The only thing that really stood as an obstacle was readjusting to living with my parents, their rules, and a completely different routine than I had become accustomed to at school. Similar readjustment the second time around, with a bit of a twist, though.

While it came as a bit of a surprise, I had known in my bones that it would happen. Let’s get a little background. Sophomore year was the most fun year of schooling I have ever had. I finally started taking the classes I was interested in and making friends within my major. Without a sport, I was free to do intramurals and work and socialize, like a normal college student. Woah. This opened up the door to spending way more time with my friends, exploring new sides to my writing, and learning some things about myself.

As good as the past year has been, it came with its fair share of lows. My friends and I braved a not-so terrific professor, four breakups (out of the five of us), some breakdowns, and even a potential transfer. Sticking together through the good and the bad made the goodbye all the harder. Yes, I am aware that that sounds uber-cliché. But that cliché was the piece of knowledge I held deep down as I drove out of a Dunkin parking lot, splitting ways with my friends and listening to the sad playlist one of my friends made for us.

At first, I didn’t feel it. My friends texted “I miss you” to the group chat every day, and yeah, I missed them. I just didn’t feel it as prominently until my numbing tactics began to fail. To keep myself busy in those first couple weeks, I started cooking and cleaning and going to the gym like a good little stay-at-home daughter. My biggest accomplishment was a complete reorganization of my two bookshelves (it literally took so long). I tried my best to stay busy until I started falling out of line and sitting on the couch with my dog more and more. Whether I was scrolling on Pinterest, binging a series on Max, or trying to keep my streak on Duolingo, I was falling into a rut. It made me feel sick, and I missed my friends. More than last summer.

What they (the ominous and mysterious “they”) don’t tell you is that you will not only miss your friends from school, but you will miss your friends from home. Now, you’ve spent even more time away from each other and you’ve come home to internships or summer jobs that limit your free time, AKA the time you can spend with each other. I thought that coming home meant getting to have our fun summer breaks like we used to?! But no. And something that I didn’t realize is that not being able to hang out with friends your own age would make the readjustment to home even harder. I don’t know about you guys, but I can only handle my family in relatively small doses at a time now. And I work with middle and high-schoolers, so I really only ever interact with adults or teens. Okay, that’s not completely true. I talk to Starbucks baristas: “Hi, mobile order for MollyJane.” “Okay, pull around to the window.” “Thanks!” They deserve the world.

But you get it, I never get to talk to those stuck in the same weird age: 20 and in limbo.

I wish I had some type of resolution. I’m halfway through my summer break, and the prospect of this fall is losing its gild as I fall deeper into the summer blues. We’ll see what happens though.

Well, that was my first blog. If you’ve made it to the end of this long and tedious post, thank you. I hope you’ll stick around to see what’s next for Abundant Thoughts.